You are about to discover the Secrets, most women will never know about Love, Relationships, Sex, Dating, Weight loss and Success

Re-ignite your Sex Life

Spice Up Your Sex Life

  How to Feel Sexier and Re-ignite your Love Life this Valentines Day

  1. Feeling More Sexy and Sensual is an Inside Job … Treat your sexy self as you want to be treated. Pamper yourself with whatever makes your feel Sensual, a bath, massage, flowers, perfume. Dance… movement will get you out of your thoughts and back into your body. Put on the sexiest song you know, light a candle and dance.
  1. Say an Affirmation. When you just aren’t feeling sexy, flip your thought by repeating an affirmation to yourself. Try, “I am a fabulous, luscious, sexy woman” (or something of that nature). Fake it till you make it, say it till you feel it.
  1. Express Gratitude – How often do you truly acknowledge what you appreciate about your partner? Write down 10 things about your partner that you are grateful for ~ and tell him/her. Make this a daily practice
  1. Schedule a Date Night. It is essential that you take time out for your relationship as a couple. Schedule a date if you have to, just like you would schedule a haircut or doctor’s appointment. Sometimes work, life’s obligations, and children keep us so busy that the last thing we care to even think about is being intimate. Get a friend or grandparents to look after the children and take some time out together as a couple.
  1. Try somewhere different – Be open, playful and creative. If you always have sex in the bedroom, pick somewhere else in the house! Write a list of the places you’d like to have sex. This can be something as simple of creating a picnic dinner with wine and candles in the living room. Laughing, being a little wild, and having fun are all great ways to re-trigger the lightness and joy you felt when you first met.
  1. Flirt with your partner. Remind yourself how much fun you had when you first met. A fun thing to do is to meet at a bar and pretend to be strangers and flirt outrageously with each other.
  1. Touch –Touch is always a big part of a healthy passionate relationship. Yet so much of the time we forget how to touch our partners. Humans get so much from touch but most importantly they get a barrage of neurochemicals like endorphins and oxytocin. Endorphins make people feel good and oxytocin bonds people together. Hug Your Partner today. Try giving your partner a Sensual Massage.
  1. Erotica – Read some sexy erotica (try Mills and Boon Blaze Editions for raunchy stories) or Fifty Shades of Grey. Lie in bed together, and take turns reading to each other.
  1. Initiate S.ex – Often times in relationships the man is the one who initiates s.ex the most. But eventually a man may get sick of always having to be the one who gets thing started. Be the one to seduce him this Valentine’s Day.
  1. Add some new toys! Experiment with different positions, toys, lingerie and costumes. This creates novelty so these two work hand in hand!
  1. Kiss – not just a peck on the cheek, a REAL KISS – spontaneously kiss your man for at least 1 minute 3 times a day.
  1. Serve yourself for dessert. It sounds silly but it can also be really fun and sexy. Try feeding each other juicy fruit like peaches or strawberries. Grab some yummy ice cream toppings from the kitchen such as whipped cream and chocolate syrup and turn your body into the sexiest sundae he’s ever tasted.

7 day Coaching Challenge

Day 1. Kiss your partner passionately for a full 2 minutes

Day 2. Tonight, ask your partner what turns him or her on. Talking about sex generally leads to sex!

Day 3 – Sleep Naked (please no frumpy flannelettes … or t shirts)

Day 4. Have a bath or shower together and wash each other

Day 5. Send a sexy Text Message or write a Sexy Note and put it in his lunchbox (or Wallet)

Day 6. Buy an erotic novel (or find a story online) and lie in bed and read it to your partner – Remember try Fifty Shades of Grey!

Day 7. Make love somewhere different. Or throw a blanket onto the living room floor, have sex in the bathroom, make out in the Car

“Relationships are like a garden.”  Plant the seeds of Love, Remove the weeds of resentment, shame and blame and then water your Garden with Gratitude, Happiness, Love and Passion.

Kim Gillespie is a Life, Sex and Tantra Coach with Savvy Inspired Women. To find out how you can Re-Ignite Your Sex Life please visit her websites  www.savvyinspiredwomen.com or www.sacredlovetantra.com

The Goddess Guide to Creating Your Luscious Life

Life Coaching for Women

Create Your Luscious Goddess Life

Hi Gorgeous

We are living in exciting times! We have the opportunity to create and live a wonderful life, full of purpose and meaning yet so many of us don’t.

We put up with jobs we don’t enjoy.

We settle for mediocre relationships

We struggle financially
 We say to ourselves … I’ll live my life when the kids are grown …. when I have saved a little more money   … when I retire

… and we live day after day,exactly the same as the day before.
 

We are desperate to change, but we don’t know where to begin, let alone what to do.

And, eventually our hopes and dreams simply vanish.

Well beautiful, it’s time to put an end to the waiting … and to take the FIRST STEP to Designing Your Life!
Darling one you can create whatever you desire.

You are powerful beyond measure.

Dream Big,

Dream Lusciously because anything is possible.

Here are 17 Steps to Living Lusciously ….

1.Clear the Clutter – Emotional Clutter, Physical clutter and Body Clutter.

2. Create your sacred space for yourself.

3. Ask yourself this question: “If you knew you were going to die in a year, would you still be living the life you’re living?” If the answer is no, you might want to rethink things.

4. Let go of what does not serve you

5. Identify your dreams and desires, if you can’t figure out what you do want, get clear on what you DON’T want.

Dream BIG … don’t limit yourself

Write answers to this question ….. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if …… “

6. Don’t worry about the “how to”

7. Fire your Inner Critic – Dump the guilt, blame and shame

8. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people

9. Hire a coach or mentor

10. Ask the Universe for what you desire

11. Set Your Intentions

12. Take Inspired Action

13. Allow yourself to RECEIVE

14. Practice radical self-care …. Nurture your body, mind and spirit

15. Express Gratitude

“I am so happy and grateful that ……. “

“Today I feel so happy and grateful because ……”

16. Write in your Journal every day

 17. Believe in YOU – Darling one you can create whatever you desire. You are powerful beyond measure. Dream Big, Dream Lusciously because anything is possible

(oops I gave the wrong email address in the video – it is info@savvyinspiredwomen.com )

 

Now Beautiful take a leap of faith and fly!

If you would like to apply for a FREE Discovery session where you will Discover What is Holding You Back from Creating your Dream Life and receive your FREE Online Course – “The 6 Steps to Fabulous’ please visit my website http://www.savvyinspiredwomen.com

Dream Big

Love Passionately

Live Lusciously

Kisses

Kim xxxx

I Just read this great blog post by Steph from Trading Pounds

The 10 Biggest Lies We Believe as Truth and How to Break Free of Them

These lies held power over my life for far too long. Every thought, decision and action controlled by them. It wasn’t until I started working with a personal coach, that I was able to see them for what they are and realize their power was mine to reclaim. I had given it freely to them, and I was free to take it back at any time.

But that meant changing my life and it is a part of our natural human condition to fear change. But I’ve learned that the choice to change, to stop believing in the things that don’t serve our best life, is where true power lies . . . weight losing, dream chasing power . . . The kind that gets you where you want to be.

Lie #1 :: I Don’t Have Time
You are given the same 24 glorious hours every day as the rest of us. The real issue isn’t a lack of time, it is a lack of willingness to create what that time will be used for in your life. Even when you sacrifice 19 hours of those days to sleep, employment, meals and commuting, that leaves 5 hours open for creating something great. How many more of those hours are you going to give so frivolously to emails, cat videos on YouTube and boring television shows?
Lie #2 :: I Don’t Want To
You know that feeling when your entire body is physically in protest of doing something? When you get completely and emotionally upset over a thought, choice or idea? When you physically and emotionally respond to a choice, that’s your lizard brain fighting extra hard to keep you standing perfectly still (the physical response) because this is exactly the direction in which you should move and your heart knows it (the emotional response).

To read more of the Lies we tell ourselves, just click this link    (I resonated with Lie No 9!)

Kisses

Kim xxx

The Goddess Guide to Life

“She dances to the sound of the ocean, her partner is the wind. They sky and the sun watch in joy as she dances and laughs. Each breath is a new beginning for her to love more. Sharing her joy and love with all life is The Color of a Woman’s Heart” ~ Casey Leasure

Hi Beautiful, here are some tips to help you Unleash Your Inner Goddess and Love Your Life

1. Watch your thoughts – Be careful what you think, our thoughts create our reality. When we have thoughts of misery, poverty, lack, despair, loneliness, fear and anger, we attract the people and situations that will bring more of that to us. Your life can be as wonderful or as horrible as you allow, it all depends on the thoughts you practice.

Everything we do in life whether positive or negative has a payoff.

What payoff do you get for being sad and unhappy?

What payoff do you get out of not having enough money?

What payoff do you get from feeling stressed and overwhelmed?

What payoff do you get from being unfit?

What is the upside to staying where you are?

2. Let go of your old stories Every time you tell your ‘victim’ story, you recondition your subconscious mind and instruct it to re-record that same old story. What would you prefer? To grumble each day about how miserable your life is and live that as a self-fulfilling prophecy, Or to believe life is wonderful and each day holds new and exciting adventures for you? When we complain, judge or blame anyone else we are really blocking off the things we really want in our lives by preventing the good flowing in. when we focus on what we don’t want, especially with disempowering emotions such as fear, anger and worry, we get even more of what we don’t want. How would you like to feel instead? When you allow your mind to shape your destiny, wonderful things start to happen. If you need help letting go of your old stories and beliefs, coaching may help, just visit my website www.savvyinspiredwomen.com for more information.

 

3. Let go of what is draining you – old beliefs and stories, clutter (emotional, spiritual and physical clutter), people?

 

4.Create a new truth, our truths are not set in stone, they are fluid and dynamic. What is your new truth?

 

5.Meditation – when we take time to relax and really listen to and connect with what is really going on in our heart, we will find peace. Some people call the voice intuition, a gut feeling, Spirit, Angels, God or Goddess. Most women, due to their hectic lives have forgotten how to listen to it and have become disconnected from their Inner Goddess. A great way to reconnect with your Inner Goddess is to quiet your mind and go inward during meditation. Start with as little as 5 minutes morning and night.

6.Live Your Purpose – Sometimes when we are off track, life gives us a shove, and it’s normally something we don’t like. Maybe you find your job boring and suddenly you’ve been made redundant. Or maybe you say, my partner drives me crazy, and the next thing he is flirting with someone else. Have you ever said, I’m exhausted, but I don’t have time for a holiday, and find yourself laid up in bed for a week with the flu?

Often we fail to head the warnings in the early stages, we wait until things become desperate before we are willing to do something about them. Life whispers at first to us, and when we fail to listen, it gets louder and louder, but if we fail to notice then sometimes it gives us a nasty wake up call. This may be a job loss, the death of a loved one, an illness or accident or the end of a relationship. It will do this to make us wake up enough to realize what we are doing is not working and that we have to change the way we are thinking, behaving or living.

Are you doing what makes your heart sing?

Are you with people who love you and you love?

Are you doing what you came here to do?

What is the difference you are on this earth to make?

What will you be remembered for?

What is your legacy?

When you align yourself with your true purpose, life becomes effortless. When we are doing what inspires us and uses our unique gifts and talents, we will feel fulfilled. Life will support your every move and you will attract the right people to you. If you need some guidance to living your purpose, I offer a 60 minute life purpose numerology coaching session, just go to my website to find out more

 

7. Ask powerful questions –

What can I do differently?

How can things be even better than this?

What inspires me?

What brings me joy?

What makes me feel beautiful?

 

8. Create a new vision for your life. Write out what you want in your life as if it is happening now. Write out the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years. Be big and bold, dream big gorgeous one.

– The first step to manifesting your desires is to first identify what it is that you want

– Visualize what you really want – see it, smell it, taste it and hear it as if it has already been accomplished.

– Attach a desire to it and fall in love with your desires

– Believe that it will happen

– Let go of the outcome

– Be grateful for its accomplishment, even though it has not yet manifested

– Set an intention

– Read your vision aloud every night just before you go to sleep

– Take inspired action

– Be open to receive

– Watch your dreams and desires unfold

 

9. Look for Bliss in every moment – look for the things to appreciate. Ignore anything that does not please you, don’t pay attention to it, just look for the things that feel good. Practice feeling good and gratitude and the more you do it, the more you will manifest what you truly desire.

 

10. Create your perfect environment – look at how you are living and with whom. Make your home a refuge from the outside world and install a sense of beauty, harmony and femininity.

 

11.Love the woman in the mirror. In order to be deeply loved by another you must love yourself first. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. Own your body, connect with your body and send loving thoughts to your body.

12.  Give yourself a pat on the back; tell yourself what a wonderful job you are doing

 

13.Nurture your body with sleep, gentle exercise, freshly cooked or raw foods, and reducing stress, visit a Day Spa and have a luscious massage and body treatment

 

14.Step into your feminine essence. Most women’s core energy is yin or feminine and most men are Yang or masculine, there are some women whose core is yang, while some men are predominately yin. A small number of people are evenly balanced between the two energies and can go either way. Although we tend to think of masculine and feminine energies as opposites, they’re not—they’re complementary. They create polarity; it’s the interplay of these energies that creates attraction. Unfortunately in our culture today, we are conditioning men to get too much in tune with their feminine side, while women are striving to keep up with and overtake men. We are taking over the male role both at home and at work. This lack of polarity totally wrecks relationships. So many women come to me with problems involving relationships, sex, intimacy, self-confidence, weight issues, career challenges and stress and more times than not it comes down to the fact that they are striving in their masculine energy. Now I am not suggesting that we become weak and go back to pre-women’s lib days. But too much masculine or ‘yang’ energy creates havoc with our hormones and menstrual cycle. Start to nurture your feminine essence with dancing, yoga, walking, playing, time with friends, creative pursuits, and move your hips.

15.Love Deeply and Passionately. tell your partner how much you love them, hug them and kiss….. passionately.  I’d love you to write down 10 things about them that you are grateful for … and then Tell Them (this works well for friends and family as well …. LOL except the kissing them passionately part)

 

16. Breathe. Our breath is our greatest source of energy and aliveness, yet most of us breathe just enough to stay alive. It is an instant way to activate your feminine essence and become present to the moment. Feminine essence is activated through the belly, hips, and pelvis—practice taking a breath that drops low into this region.

 

17. Be open to receive – Learning to receive is the greatest thing you can do. The limitation of money, the limitation of happiness and the limitation of love, is based on what you are unwilling to receive. Women are bad at receiving – we tend to give and give. It’s as if we don’t feel worthy of receiving. When we don’t allow ourselves to receive, we deny others the opportunity to give to us. Start accepting compliments.

Darling One, You hold the key to your happiness. 

Don’t put your life on hold for a moment longer.

Dare to give birth to the beautiful, magnificent goddess within.

Life is too precious for you to not live it fully

It is time to live your truth

Stop being a victim

Surrender and let go of your old thoughts and limitations

Connect with your purpose

Connect with your spirit

Connect with the goddess within

Join me as we hold each other’s hands

Let go of the familiar and Jump out into the unknown

The biggest risk you can take is to not take any risks at all

Let’s reawaken into the essence of who we really are

It’s time to let your light shine

Have a wonderful day

Love Kim

Savvy Inspired Women

for more informaton about Life and Intimacy coaching and upcoming Workshops please visit www.savvyinspiredwomen.com

Rewrite Your Money Story

Women and Money

Why is it that women, who are so savvy in all other areas of their lives, cannot find the same competence when it comes to matters of money?

When you hear the word “money” what’s the first thought or feeling that comes to mind?

If you’re like many women, the subject of money is emotionally charged and brings up feelings of guilt, embarrassment, shame, blame and regret. For many of us, money is almost a love/hate relationship.

The amount of money you are letting in is equivalent to how powerful you are allowing yourself to be in the world. In my opinion, all money issues are self-worth issues.  It all comes down to how much you value yourself. If there are issues with self-worth (esteem), then there will be issues with net-worth. As women, our sense of self-worth influences our net-worth and vice versa. They are intricately tied; when your self-worth is low your finances suffer. On the other hand, when you are confident and empowered, money seems to flow to you easily and effortlessly. Your money is simply a reflection of how much you truly value yourself.

 

We need to Own Our Inner Worth and Heal our Money Story. 

 

Think About this Statement:

How You Do Money Is How You Do Everything

Or “Whatever is happening with your money is also showing up in your life”.

What feelings come up when you think about money?

Are they feelings of joy, gratitude, ease and flow or fear, worry, doubt and embarrassment?

Now think about other areas of your life and notice what’s happening here.

For example if you have feelings of scarcity or lack around money, where else is scarcity showing up in your life?

Right now I want you to think about your BIGGEST money issue.  It could be that you’re afraid to charge more.  It could be that you’re in debt.  It could be that you owe someone money or they owe you money.  It could be financial issues in your marriage.  It might be that you have no savings and you’re afraid for your future.

 Write down your biggest money issue here

My biggest money issue is:  ____________________________

 How do you feel when thinking about that money issue?

Do you feel fear? Panic? Guilt? Shame? Scarcity?

Do you feel sick when you think about this money issue?

When it comes to money you are either feeling joyful, abundant, relaxed, happy, and excited and secure … or you’re not! The majority of people do not feel expansion when it comes to money! What we want is to have more feelings of expansion and the good news is, is that at any moment you can switch and put your focus on something else. Over the next few days, just notice when you feel expansion and when you feel contraction.

The average person spends more time planning their family vacation than planning for their retirement.  I want to help you create your ideal life, one of health, wealth and happiness and It starts with getting smart about money

 You can start changing your money story by introducing 10 key concepts.

 1. Clear Your Money Clutter

“Money doesn’t come to chaos” and it’s true. The more chaotic your financial lifestyle, the less you will be able to attract money into your life.

Remember that money is not going to come into an environment where it is not wanted.   If you cannot handle the money you have now, how can you attract more? The Universe is only going to send you what you can handle.

As a rule of thumb if you have physical clutter, you have mental clutter as well.

What is money clutter?

Money clutter is basically avoidance.

 Here’s what money clutter looks like:

Avoiding paying your bills on time

Avoiding even opening your bills

Avoiding having money in the bank

Not talking about delicate money issues

Receipts and invoices are piling up

Not saving or investing

Racking up credit card debt trying to feel better

Avoiding having a potentially uncomfortable conversation with someone who may owe you money … or who you may own money to.

 Think about it … if you avoid, neglect, ignore, demand, criticize and disrespect money, why would money stick around?  If this was your closest friend, would she? However, if you pay attention to, honour and respect money for what it brings you, then you’ve opened the doors for more to flow into your life.

2. Heal Your Family Money Legacy

Whether we like it or not, our childhood experiences will determine how much money and success we feel we are capable of as adults. Were you someone whose parents struggled with money and now have a scarcity mindset when money is involved? Or were you given an endless supply of the things you wanted, including money? Whatever your situation was, you were learning from it the moment you were born. Our parents, relatives and friends were our most consistent teachers. We watched them struggle with paying the bills or their lavishness with money as a result of having a lot of it. Subconsciously, we took on their actions and created our own money stories that we carry with us still as adults. Luckily, we are not our inherited habits. We’re free-thinking human beings, and we can take charge of our actions. We are the deciders of our fate; if you want a life a filled with abundance, we can take meaningful steps towards that daily.

3. Uncover and Release your Out-dated Money Beliefs

Your beliefs are the core of who you are. Whatever you believe in your mind is what’s forming the results in your life. That is why you keep getting the same results in your life over and over again. You will attract events, circumstances, experiences, and people into your life that are in alignment with your beliefs. If you’re not experiencing financial abundance and prosperity, then I invite you to examine your beliefs you hold about money and wealth. Are you willing to give up old, worn out beliefs that do NOT serve you in order to live an abundant, prosperous life?

Have you ever said any of the following, or do you remember your parents saying it?

Money does not grow on trees.

Money is the root of all evil.

Money doesn’t grow on trees!

I can’t afford that!

You can’t be rich and spiritual!

Rich people are greedy and dishonest!

If I’m wealthy, my friends will be jealous and stop liking me!

I’m not smart enough to be wealthy!

I have to work harder if I want to earn more money!

 

Coaching Challenge

Over the next week, I’d like you to brainstorm a list of every message and belief that comes to mind about money, wealth, success and abundance. Write down any thoughts and feelings that arise from thinking about wealthy people versus poor people. Reflect on your beliefs about spending money, saving money and earning money.

Then ask yourself the following questions:

Which beliefs have limited your financial success?

Which beliefs have supported your financial success?

What beliefs need to be released?

What new supportive beliefs need to be created?

4. Change your story around money.

 The stories you tell yourself about money will keep you stuck.  Are you addicted telling people your story around money and that it has always been hard for you?  If so you need to be aware that it’s only a story and you can change it

5. Look at Money Differently

 Start looking at how you can be of service to others when you have money in the bank. Can you think of wealthy women role models who are making a difference with their money? If you had two million dollars in the bank, how would your life be different? How could life be more comfortable? How would you feel knowing you’d never have to worry about money? Which charities could you support? What could you do to help your family and friends?

6. Surround yourself with money queens instead of drama queens:

 You become like the top 5 people you associate with the most. Let go of people who complain about how miserable their lives are. Make sure you get the support of mentors that will hold you accountable and not let you slip into your old ways of worrying about money and doubting yourself. 

7. Set a Bold Money Goal

Most people think and start small in the hope they will eventually get around to living their dream. However, the secret is to think big from the beginning. Create a Bold Money Goal and then, create the success strategy needed to reach that goal. In this way, your vision and your strategy influence your action steps—and it’s your direct action steps towards your money dream, which determines what you will achieve.  It’s not too late to set some money goals for yourself for 2012, so if you haven’t already, why not make a promise to yourself that this time next year you’ll be in better shape financially than you are now?

Write down your goals for the next 12 months. Make your goals clear, measurable, and time-specific so you can track your success. Tape the list to your mirror, on your refrigerator, or on your bedroom wall, where you can read them and focus on them every day.  We really do attract the things on which we focus, so keep your focus on what you want in your life!

8. Think Differently.

 “Thoughts become things”. Your mindset does create your reality. It controls and influences your actions, choices and behaviours—all of which are important when pursuing and achieving any goal. This is why; if you want to experience greater levels of wealth you need to think differently—especially as your current thinking has created your current life experience. Ask yourself: “What would I have to think about myself and Who Do I Have to BE in order to earn my desired income and live the life of my dreams?”

 9. Be able to Receive

You cannot be rich if you cannot receive. So many women really struggle with this. On the one hand you want more abundance, more prosperity and more wealth. But on the other, you have huge resistance to receiving more.  The wealth you want already exists. It’s there. Waiting for you to receive it. Open your being to learning to receive once again. Receive love. Receive nurturing. Receive compliments. Receive money. Receive support.

I invite you to take an honest look at your money clutter this week and see if you can bring it to a higher state of order. Even if you are highly organized, see if there is some clean-up you can do. Show the Universe that you are truly ready to receive.

 Money and financial growth consciousness doesn’t come in flash. It may take months – maybe even years – to gain total control of your finances. But if you consistently follow these steps, that day will come. And when it does, celebrate!

I have a workshop coming up on Sunday 21st July –  Wealthy Goddess 

An Exclusive day for Women who are Ready to Change Their Money Story and Step into the Abundant Fabulous Life They Deserve

Money Goddess

You can set goals and say affirmatons until you are blue in the face … but if you don’t remove and replace your deep set money beliefs and rewrite your money story, you will hold yourself back from the success and abundance you desire … and deserve.

Just visit www.savvyinspiredwomen.com for more information on the workshop and money mentoring

Kisses

Kim xxx

Why Men Cheat

A number of years ago I used to own an Adult Shop … it was an amazing place to work. The customers that shopped there were so varied- there was Mr and Mrs Average, Crossdressers, Drag Queens, Strippers and Escorts. The stories they told me were hillarious and facinating.

Something that really ‘opened my eyes’ was the stories the Strippers and Escorts told me about their clients. Most of the men that visited them were in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s and were married. Apparently these men were in marriages or partnerships where sex was either non existant or routine and boring. These men were visiting these ladies for sex and intimacy but also to experience something a little different, such as fantasy play or a position other than ‘missionary’.

After talking to these girls, I decided to create a workshop for women on how to spice up their sex life. After all I was in the perfect location … so I closed my shop to customers on a sunday and ran the workshops from my shop. They were a huge success and a lot of fun!

The workshops have evolved over the last 7 years to what they are now … Bedroom Goddess – The Lessons in the Art of Loving’ To find out more just click here

So Why Do Men Cheat?

The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.

Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce, and there is some truth to this theory. (The genetic and evolutionary make up of males – both in humans and across the animal kingdom – is to widen their gene pool as much as possible and prevent the genetic material of rivals from being passed to the next generation…. yet surely we have evolved as a species since then? )

Here are the top ten reasons why men cheat:

1. The top reason that men cheat is emotional disconnection. Men are also emotionally driven beings, they want their wives to show them that they’re appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they’re trying to get things right. With daily worries like bills, children and work, it is easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should.

This feeling of under appreciation is often expressed as follows: “She doesn’t understand me” – “We don’t talk” – “She is too busy with the children” “She is too tired for sex”.

Basically he is not receiving enough attention from his partner and he feels criticized and undermined. When feeling unappreciated at home many men start to feel insecure, and it is that very sense of insecurity which is often the catalyst to the affair. Men need to feel they can make their partner happy and to feel admired and trusted.

The other woman often makes the man feel admired and better about himself and he thinks that she is helping him to deal with his current unhappiness.

2. Your sex life stinks. Some men cheat because they are not receiving an adequate amount of sex at home, because perhaps their partner’s sex-drive has decreased or the sex they do enjoy has grown stale and repetitive. If you have not had sex with your husband in a while —or have cut him of completely, just be aware that one of the factors that is predictive of marriage success is the man’s satisfaction with the sexual experience. So, if you want to be happily married to a man, then you have to find a way to connect with him sexually.

Men have insecurities too. Sex, for a man, validates him and it is his way of expressing his love for you .  

Your man may also want to try new sexual things that you will not try. Sex researcher Helen Kaplan once wrote of a  man whose marriage ended when his wife, whom he loved very much, found out that he was seeing a dominatrix. Sadly, Dr. Kaplan said, the man’s “requirements” were minimal, but he was afraid his wife would abandon him if he even suggested she do what the dominatrix did.

Men generally want more sex compared to women and if their partner cannot give them what they want, they usually turn towards another who can give them that satisfaction, be that by having an affair or seeing an escort. A routine sex life can be as bad as none at all, and sex with a new partner can break this cycle.

Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from becoming boring and non-existent. By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat. Visit my website to find out How to Be a Bedroom Goddess

3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought.

4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly nagging them?

5. They have fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

6. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try chicken. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

7. Because they had the option.  Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down. Many men who love their partners and have great sex at home never turn down an opportunity for a bit on the side if they think they can get away with it. In one study, 56% of cheating men surveyed said their marriages were very happy.

Statistics show that 70 per cent of unfaithful men never dreamed they’d be unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn’t done it. But even if your husband swears he would never cheat, don’t assume it can’t happen. It’s important for both of you to take steps toward creating the marriage you want.

What can you do to reduce the possibility of cheating?

1. Men and women need appreciation in different ways. Men want to be admired and appreciated  (they want to know they can get it right for you and be appreciated for it). So if you are woman ask your partner to help you with something that will make him feel good as a man and appreciate him for it.  Women on the other hand, need to be told that they are special.

2. Focus on making your relationship more loving and connected. A strong emotional connection reduces the likelihood of cheating.

3. Schedule in time in your calendars each week to have special time together, maybe to go on a date or do something that nourishes your relationship. The most common mistake of married men and women is they stop dating and flirting . Set one day for you alone. Forget about the children and your other responsibilities. Go out and have fun. Flirt with your partner in both verbal and non-verbal ways.

4. Take an interest in the emotional life of your partner; ask them what they would like more of/less of in the relationship. Find out what is important to them. Communication is a crucial part of any marriage. 

 5. Take steps to ‘Spice Up Your sex Life’ – Sex is one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority. If you want to affair proof your marriage, you must always find time for sex.  Continue to explore the sexual needs of your partner and do not be afraid to try various positions, toys and fantasy play. Marriage counselors will always tell you that one way to keep your partner beside you is through sensual , fun and playful lovemaking . Click here to find out more about Bedroom Goddess – The Lessons in the Art of Loving

Finally, if your partner has had an affair, NEVER put all the blame on yourself. 

Ultimately, he is responsible for his behaviour.  

An affair doesn’t have to mean the end of a marriage and the beginning of a painful divorce. However, it is a sign that something is profoundly wrong in the marriage and needs fixing. I can help you with re-igniting your sex life and increasing your confidence both in and out of the bedroom, but I do suggest you see a professional relationship counsellor.

To learn more about Bedroom Goddess – The Lessons in the Art of Loving click here

Scroll down to find some tips on how to Spice Up Your Sex Life … and please leave a comment

Love Kim xxx

Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey

Have You Read Fifty Shades of Grey?

50 Shades of Grey is an erotic novel written by  E L James , a TV executive, wife and mother-of-two based in West London.

The story is about a young woman, Anastasia Steele who meets  business tycoon Christian Grey , who has a penchant for “bondage and discipline.” If you have ever fantasized about being dominated and you like reading  romance stories with an edge, you might enjoy 50 Shades of Grey.

What is Power Play and Erotic Domination?

Power play is simply a more heightened variety of erotic domination. It’s about one person taking the lead (dominant) and the other surrendering (submissive) always within mutually agreed upon boundaries.

 

Why do Women Love Fifty Shades of Grey?

1.  It is essentially a romantic love story .

 2. 50 Shades of Grey is a story about a sexy, dominant powerful man and that is fascinating to most women. This has a lot to do with sexual polarity, in todays society many women have morphed into their masculine energy and men into more feminine energy.  Yet so many women are dying for their lovers to take the lead in the bedroom and take them on an Erotic Adventure.  Unfortunately our modern culture has emasculated our men such that they’ve become afraid to sexually lead their woman.

 3. Fifty Shades of Grey has also given women the freedom to talk about the sensual fantasies they think about. Fantasies play a critically important role in keeping sex exciting in long term relationships. Fantasy play and bondage and submission games encourage you to move beyond your comfort zone. They encourage you to surrender to your partner, which requires a great degree of trust and vulnerablity and because of that it will bring you closer to your partner than you have ever been before.

 4. Many women have also been brought up with the ‘Good Girl Syndrome’. This conditioning leads to negative thoughts and feelings about sex and the body, resulting in an inhibited sexual response. How often have you heard the saying ‘Good Girls Don’t”? By playing ‘Fantasy Games’ in the bedroom, you are given permission to ‘Let Go of the Good Girl’ and be a little naughty … because it is only a game

5. It is a Very Sexy Read!!!

For women fortunate enough to have a trusted lover who can take control in the bedroom,  she can surrender completely, knowing he will take her on a  sensual and erotic journey to experience total pleasure.

If you’ve wanted to have your man step up and lead you erotically, tell him. And give him as much detail about what would make it sexy for you and where your boundaries are. Check out the tips below on how to ‘Spice Up Your Sex Life’.

The best lover I ever had,  would push me up against the wall, hold me tight and pin my body to the wall with his torso, he would use his other hand to pull my hair to the side while he kissed and lightly bit the back of my neck. He would then kneel down and slowly run his fingers and tongue up my legs … tell me there is not a woman out there who is swooning right now? Most of us fantasize about the strong, powerful man who can take charge and allow us to surrender completely.

 If you would like to know more about Sexual Fantasy, Erotic Domination and how to Spice Up Your Love Life, you may be interested in my next workshop – Bedroom Goddess – The Lessons in the Art of Loving  on my website Savvy Inspired Women  click here ….

Please leave your comments below and tell me what you thought of Fifty Shades of Grey …. I loved the books!

Love Kim xxx

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: