How To Ignite Your Sex Life
Do you remember those days when you couldn’t wait to rip your guy’s clothes off!
For many women in long-term relationships, sex has become just another chore.
Here are 16 tips to help you Re-ignite your Sex Life
1. Retrain your brain. Change the way you think about sex. Most women think of sex as something he gets and you give. Instead, think of yourself as being the receiver or the lucky one. Start seeing sex as a treat for you; you can tune in to other sensual treats in your daily life.
2. Focus on a great sexual experience. Taking just five minutes out of your busy day to replay the specifics of your last really great sexual encounter (even if it was years ago and with someone else!). Thinking about your pleasure: how it made you feel — and how you want to feel that way again can turn you on sexually.
3. Men and Women are different! Acknowledge the differences.Women want romance. They want to cuddle, kiss, touch, talk, be surprised and then make love. On the other hand, men are visual and physically oriented, sexually – They want to be aroused by what their lover wears to bed, the physical language they use, the body cues that they receive from their partner throughout the day, and their partner’s curiosity and interest in being playful and sexy.
4. Take time out for each other. It is essential that you take time out for your relationship as a couple. Schedule a date if you have to, just like you would schedule a haircut or doctor’s appointment. Sometimes work, life’s obligations, and children keep us so busy that the last thing we care to even think about is being intimate. This may sound silly but in today’s world where every minute is accounted for, if you don’t schedule time for your relationship, you won’t have any time for it. And eventually, you won’t have a relationship at all.
5. Write your fantasies. Journal about some of your hottest fantasies
6. Share your fantasies – I come across so many people that have never shared any of their fantasies with their partner. It can be a difficult conversation to have, because you don’t know how they are going to react, but often people find out that their partner has similar fantasies and it sparks a whole new life in the bedroom. The beauty of it is that you don’t even have to fulfil those fantasies, sometimes just using them as imagery is enough; imagine your partner whispering in your ear, talking you through the hottest fantasy you’ve ever imagined. When you share your true thoughts and feelings with someone; when you are vulnerable for that moment and it’s reciprocated with equal truth and vulnerability, you grow closer as a couple.
7. Erotica – Read some sexy erotica (try Mills and Boon Blaze Editions for raunchy stories) Have you read the Novel Fifty Shades of Grey? http://www.eljamesauthor.com/ This book has taken the world by storm … Fifty Shades of Grey is a story of a young woman, Anastasia Steele who meets a business tycoon Christian Grey, who has a penchant for “sexual domination.” If you have ever fantasized about being dominated and you like reading romance stories with an edge, you might enjoy 50 Shades of Grey….. it is a really sexy read and has re-ignited the sex lives of women from around the world
8. Flirt with your partner. Remind yourself how much fun you had when you first met – re-spark that inner-sexiness from when you first met. A fun thing to do is to meet at a bar and pretend to be strangers and flirt outrageously with each other.
9. Touch – Focus on the physical act of touching. Touch is always a big part of a healthy passionate relationship. Yet so much of the time we forget how to touch our partners. The act of touching is very sensual and fosters an intimate feeling of one-ness. This feeling creates an invisible, seamless transition into foreplay. Take it from there without any expectations. Go with the flow and see where you end up. Humans get so much from touch but most importantly they get a barrage of neurochemicals like endorphins and oxytocin. Endorphins make people feel good and oxytocin bonds people together.
10. Initiate Sex – Often times in relationships the man is the one who initiates sex the most. But eventually a man may get sick of always having to be the one who gets thing started. One of the ways to reignite your sex life is to make your partner feel wanted. Both people in the relationship should initiate intimacy.
11. Try somewhere different – Throw away all your beliefs on how and where you should you have sex. Be open, playful and creative. If you always have sex in the bedroom, pick somewhere else in the house! Write a list of the places you’d like to have sex. Every time you and your partner do something new you create new neural pathways. This helps to create memories as well as helps to continually bond you and your partner. This doesn’t take money necessarily either. This can be something as simple of creating a picnic dinner with wine and candles in the living room. Laughing, being a little wild, and having fun are all great ways to re-trigger the lightness and joy you felt when you first met. Several psychology studies show that if you do activities with your partner that produce brain chemicals associated with arousal, this arousal gets transferred to your private, intimate relationship. Activities that create fear (e.g., roller coaster rides, skydiving, bungee jumping, or scary movies) or that cause an upsurge in the feel-good brain chemicals and this actually increases passionate love.
12. Add some new toys! Experiment with different positions, toys, styles and whatever else you and your partner agree to. This creates novelty so these two work hand in hand! Try a toy you’ve never used before and see what wonderful things you can find to do with it. Trust me, vibrators and bullets are just as much fun used on guys as they are on girls. Many men report a great feeling when using a vibrator on their inner thighs and on their testicles. (Tip – if using Anal Toys make sure they have a flange or base that is wider than the toy to prevent it from disappearing!)
13. Have Sex Early in the Day – Men’s testosterone peaks between 7 and 8 a.m. so take advantage of this fun fact and have sex with him a few minutes after the alarm goes off
14. Seduce Each Other With Phone Sex – When he is at work send him a seductive text message or picture. Not sure where to start? Try texting him something simple but suggestive like, “Can’t wait 2 c u 2night” Just let him know that you are thinking about being alone with him. Pictures are worth a thousand words, but if you aren’t into the thought of taking nude pics of yourself, you can send him a picture of your lacy bra with the message, “Can’t wait 4 u 2 take this off me 2night.” It’s okay to feel a little shy or awkward, especially if you are new at the seduction bit. However, the more you do it, the more comfortable you will feel, especially when you see how enthusiastically your partner responds.
15. Kiss – not just a peck on the cheek, a REAL KISS – spontaneously kiss your man for at least 10 seconds 3 times a day.
16. Serve yourself for dessert. It sounds silly but it can also be really fun and sexy. Try feeding each other juicy fruit like peaches or strawberries. Grab some yummy ice cream toppings from the kitchen such as whipped cream and chocolate syrup and turn your body into the sexiest sundae he’s ever tasted.
7 day Coaching Challenge –
Day 1. Tonight, ask your partner what turns him or her on. Talking about sex generally leads to sex!
Day 2. Kiss your partner passionately for a full 2 minutes
Day 3. Send a sexy Text Message
Day 4 – Sleep Naked (please no frumpy flanellettes … or t shirts)
Day 5. Have a bath or shower together and wash each other
Day 6. Buy an erotic novel (or find a story online) and lie in bed and read it to your partner – Remember try Fifty Shades of Grey!
Day 7. Make love somewhere different. Or throw a blanket onto the living room floor, have sex in the bathroom, make out in the Car
Would you like some private coaching on how to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Introduce Fantasy Play and Sensual Domination
Bedroom Goddess is designed for women of all ages
who are single or in committed relationships who ….
– Have lost touch with their sensuality
– Have forgotten how to be playful in the bedroom
– Are re-entering the dating scene after a break-up or a divorce and need to regain their confidence in the bedroom
– Are in a long term relationship and want to ‘spice things up’
Kim Gillespie is a Life and Intimacy Coach at Savvy Inspired Women. To receive your FREE Online Course ‘The 6 Steps to Fabulous’ The Savvy Woman’s Guide to Discovering Your Life Purpose, Designing Your Life Loving the Amazing Woman You Are ,Being Happy and Getting Your Sexy Back! visit http://savvyinspiredwomen.com/index.html